


That Feelings Struggle

by fxvixen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Top Kozume Kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 04:03:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10267802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxvixen/pseuds/fxvixen
Summary: Kenma is struggling.Tetsurou is laying with his head on his lap, legs hanging off the edge of the couch while they watch a sci-fi. Every so often he’ll say something about the science that’s plain wrong or comment that he and Oikawa have discuss aliens and they don’t think this would happen. Kenma is kind of playing with his hair when he remembers, but he’s been distracted.With feelings. They’re quite annoying.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dgalerab](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dgalerab/gifts).



Kenma is struggling.

Tetsurou is laying with his head on his lap, legs hanging off the edge of the couch while they watch a sci-fi. Every so often he’ll say something about the science that’s plain wrong or comment that he and Oikawa have discuss aliens and they don’t think this would happen. Kenma is kind of playing with his hair when he remembers, but he’s been distracted.

With feelings. They’re quite annoying.

It’s this… bubbling fondness that makes him want to roll his eyes and scream, but also hold the cause of it close to him and squeeze him. The cause of course is his dorky boyfriend who insists that, “That’s _not_ how that works. Did they try _at all?_ ”

Kenma really doesn’t care if the science is right, but he thinks it’s endlessly amusing to watch Tetsurou get frustrated about it when the movie doesn’t draw him in enough. The amusement always gives way to more of that bubbly fondness that’s so hard to articulate.

He can’t very well say to Tetsurou that he makes him feel bubbly. _God,_ no, he’d never hear the end of that. Then again, they’ve been boyfriends for several years now and Kenma’s never really managed to say that he’s fond of Tetsurou so maybe it’s owed to him to give it a try.  

There’s really only one way that’s ever worked for him, and Kenma considers it for a moment. It’s not as if it’s been awhile, just awhile since he tried to do _more,_ tried to break from his comfort zone. It’s probably okay to try again.

The movie doesn’t really seem to be interesting Tetsurou that much, so Kenma decides it’s probably alright to interrupt. He gives Tetsurou’s hair a tug.

Tetsurou turns his head to look up him, attention still diverted toward the movie a little. “What’s up?”

It’s an awkward angle and Kenma pauses when he realizes but perseveres. He leans down to give Tetsurou a heated kiss, shifting his hands to cradle Tetsurou’s face. Kenma sits up to see all of Tetsurou’s attention has been transferred to him. Good.

“Now?” Despite his tone, Tetsurou looks ready to run to the bedroom immediately, if that’s what Kenma wants.

Kenma just raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, yeah. Now. I’m down.” Tetsurou scrambles up and follows when Kenma gets up to head to their bedroom.

Kenma pauses at the foot of their bed and turns to Tetsurou, looking up at him. Tetsurou stops too and looks down at him, grinning stupidly. He repeats, “What’s up?”

Kenma really can’t help that the bubbling feeling pushes out a smile of his own. He leans forward to wrap his arms around Tetsurou and bury his face in his chest. Tetsurou snickers at him softly and Kenma allows it, hiding the blush Tetsurou no doubt knows is on his cheeks.

He releases Tetsurou and gently pushes him. “Lay down.”

Tetsurou is still grinning. “You’re cute,” he says as he lays down on his back.

Kenma turns away, fighting the heat with everything he’s got, really putting an effort into frowning instead. “ _You’re_ cute.” It’s petulant and a horrible come back, but it’s the only thing he can think of.

Tetsurou’s cackling tells him what he thinks of it.

It’s fine. Kenma will get him back.

...but maybe not tonight. It doesn’t fit in with his plans.

Kenma grabs the lube and a condom and throws them on the bed within reach. He strips himself quickly, and Tetsurou, seeing what he’s doing, follows. When they’re both naked, Kenma crawls up Tetsurou’s body and kisses him hot and wet for several long moments, rocking them against each other while he does it. He wants to get Tetsurou good and going.

Tetsurou tries to follow when Kenma pulls away, but he quickly lays back. Kenma tries to think of a way to convey to him that it’s not that kind of night, not that kind of sex.

He settles for smoothing a hand through Tetsurou’s hair and attempting a soft look by letting the bubbly feeling take over. Tetsurou looks confused but doesn’t say anything.

Kenma hates that he doesn’t know how to just say it, but he’s going to try to show it.

He starts along his usual path to get Tetsurou riled. This is different though. Kenma goes slow along every inch of his chest and sucks softly on his nipples. Tetsurou moans, but holds still. Any other time Kenma would be delighted that he has Tetsurou under his control so well, but not tonight.

He just wants Tetsurou to let go, but Kenma’s spent so long trying get him to do the opposite that he can’t really blame him.

Kenma tries. He twists a nipple.

Tetsurou gasps and heaves. Then he breathes and looks at Kenma; he must see the displeasure in his face.

Kenma tries again. “You’re tense. Relax.”

Tetsurou frowns, confusion flitting over his red face as he tries to figure out what Kenma wants. Kenma sucks on his other nipple to stop the thinking; Tetsurou moans and this time it’s accompanied by a squirm. To reward him Kenma hums and releases to swipe his thumbs across both of them. Tetsurou moans louder.

Kenma kisses down the rest of Tetsurou’s torso, giving little nips every once in awhile to keep his boyfriend on his toes. He can feel his own torso slowly dragging along Tetsurou’s hardening cock as he slides down his body, keeping him interested.

When he’s seated on the bed between Tetsurou’s legs, he debates the order of how he should do this. Obviously it should be during the prepping process when Kenma’s head is the clearest, but how aware does he want Tetsurou to be?

Kenma grabs the lube contemplatively and considers Tetsurou’s still confused face while he drips the lube onto his hand and warms it.

“Are you okay, Kenma?” He’s breathing heavy, but it’s clear he’s concerned. “Do you need to talk about something?”

Kenma shoves in his first finger roughly, making Tetsurou grit his teeth and groan. “Sort of.”

Tetsurou heaves breaths and squirms against the finger, trying to relax. “Couldn’t you have–” He gasps when Kenma brushes his prostate gently, a different feel from the rough thrusts of his fingers. “–done that when I could, _god,_ think?”

His question is answered with another finger quickly added. “I needed to do it when I could think, without worrying about you thinking.”

It’s a few moments, but Tetsurou is quickly used to the second finger. Kenma starts to gently, _barely_ rub against his prostate. Tetsurou whines at the light touch and ruts down against it. It’s fine with Kenma for tonight; it’s up to Tetsurou on how aware he is of what he’s going to say. Kenma is fine with giving him what he wants.

He knows the first line; he’s been rehearsing it all night.

“You make me happy.”

Tetsurou freezes, eyes wide and straight up at the ceiling like he’s not sure he heard correctly.

Kenma struggles, suddenly feeling like he needs an explanation. “You’re smart and… stupid at the same time. You try your best to make me feel comfortable.” He’s horribly aware that those sentences don’t go together, and he brushes Tetsurou’s prostate a little harder and hopes he doesn’t notice.

Tetsurou’s stomach clenches with the pleasure, but he fights to look at him. Kenma rubs his other hand across him stomach soothingly.

The second line is harder, but he’s thought about it a long time.

“You’re very important to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  

“ _Kenma_.” Tetsurou ruts down against his fingers and Kenma is glad he does, glad he knows he can take whatever pleasure he wants.

This is the last line. It’s not the first time he’s said it, so it’s not so hard. Kenma’s been thinking it as long as he can remember, since before he knew the words, and it was just this bubbly fondness.

“I love you.”

Tetsurou moans as the words come out and fucks himself on Kenma’s fingers in earnest. “ _God,_ Kenma, _I love you_ . I love you, too. _Please_ . Please fuck me, already.” He gasps as Kenma quickly scissors him and adds another finger, in a rush as much as he is, now that he’s got the words out. “I need to feel you right now, oh– _god_.”

Kenma pulls out his fingers and wipes the excess on Tetsurou’s straining cock, earning a buck of his hips. Once his fingers aren’t slippery, he tears open the condom and rolls it on. He slicks himself, quickly lines up and sinks in.

They groan together, Kenma’s head dropping to Tetsurou’s chest and Tetsurou’s falling into the pillows. Then Testurou shifts down, fucking himself on Kenma, causing him to grab Tetsurou’s hips to slow down.

“No,” Tetsurou growls at him, delirious with pleasure. “Fuck me.”

Kenma growls back at him and grips Tetsurou harder, nails digging in. “I’m going to cum idiot, give me a second.”

Tetsurou’s groan in response is filled with the agony of being on edge, so Kenma gives his cock a couple of firm strokes. It’s a mistake, because Tetsurou is a lot closer than Kenma thought; he squeezes Kenma tightly and his vision blurs. He immediately stops, and Tetsurou whines and tries to buck up against him, to get any kind of friction.

They’re both equally close and Kenma decides that already did what he wanted to tonight, so they might as well go.

He fucks into Tetsurou without much hesitation, stroking him once more. Tetsurou gets incredibly tight the closer he gets and Kenma aims his last few thrusts as precisely at his prostate as he can, but he’s going over. It washes over him even as Tetsurou gets even impossibly tighter before Kenma feels him jerk in his hand.

Kenma flops down on his boyfriend even as he rides out the aftershocks of his orgasm below him. After a minute, though he realizes he flopped right into Tetsurou’s cum and he peels himself up, wincing at it. He reaches for a kleenex and wipes as much of the cum off of himself and Tetsurou as he can.

He pulls out and ties off the condom, throwing it in the trash can next to the bed. Kenma crawls around to the side so his head is on the pillow, and waits to drift off, but he cracks open an eye when Tetsurou’s cheek presses down on his chest.

He’s looking up at Kenma with the dopiest look on his face. “What?”

Tetsurou smiles lazily. “You said you love me. And that I make you happy.”

Kenma forces himself to keep eye contact. “I’m aware.”

He closes his eyes and nuzzles against him. “Thank you.”

Kenma isn’t sure what to say to that. Tetsurou looks so genuinely happy, and Kenma wishes he for a minute that he didn’t struggle with this so much, that he could give this to Tetsurou whenever he wanted.

“Kenma?”

Kenma refocuses on Tetsurou’s face. Tetsurou’s look is softer, like he can read Kenma’s mind. Then again, he’s been doing it his whole life.

“I love you.”

Kenma’s not really sure how he alway manages to do that, make him feel like he’s enough, like Tetsurou’s happy with him either way.

It’s nice though.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](fxvixen.tumblr.com)


End file.
